“Not that one.”
I growled, rolled my eyes and threw the three dresses I had in my hand on the bed.
“Really …?” I asked and thought briefly about smacking myself upside the head.
“Don’t even think about that, you’ll give me a concussion!” my brain said.
I fell down on the bed, back first and groaned.
“It’s hard enough to chose clothes for a date as it is, but with you two nags it is literally impossible!” I said.
“Virtually”, my brain said.
“Literally”, my body answered and refused to let me get up again. “See? I win.”
My body sounded proud.
My brain just scoffed.
“Okay, so no dress, no skirt …”, I began but was interrupted immediately.
“I didn’t say that. I said not THAT one”, my body said.
“Why?” I asked.
“It makes me look fat”, my body muttered.
“Get over your vanity and think more practically, will you?” my brain said.
I decided to sit this one out. Well, lay this one out anyway. I felt like turning my head back and forth as if watching a tennis match, only that in my case, of course, I couldn’t see anything. When your body argues with your brain, there’s not much to see.
“Black skirt does NOT go with a black blouse!” my brain said indignantly.
“Why?” my body asked.
“I am surrounded by fashion grumps”, my brain sighed, and I pictured it throwing its hands into the air.
“Can we speed this up a little?” I asked. “I have to be there soon and I would really LOVE to wear some clothes.”
“Maybe you should try the nude look”, my brain suggested.
This time, I did smack myself … hey, it made me feel better, so it was worth it.
Eventually, we agreed on an outfit and I was on my way to the restaurant.
“Remember, you two will be quiet. The entire evening”, I warned when I pulled into the parking lot.
“Pffft,” my body said, “as if brainiac here will be able to shut up for even five minutes.”
“Well, SOMEBODY has to carry the conversation” my brain shot back.
“Yes, and it’s going to be ME!” I interjected. “I don’t want to hear any smart comments or feel anything unpleasant. Did I make myself clear?”
My body and brain didn’t answer.
“Good” I said, painted a smile on my face and got out of the car.
“Just one thing …” my brain said and I jumped.
“WHAT?” I said and earned a surprised look from a couple that was also walking towards the restaurant. I gave them a grin that was a mix between embarrassment and creepy cheerfulness. “What?” I whispered under my breath.
“I hope he’s not boring” my brain answered.
I groaned again (I have done that a lot lately), shook my head, then opened the door and walked inside.
I spotted Collin in a booth by the window.
“Not … a … word” I hissed through clenched teeth, then walked up to Collin and gave him a quick hug. “Smells good” my body said.
“Quiet!” I hissed.
“Beg your pardon?” Collin said and frowned.
“Nothing!” I said in a voice that was a tiny bit too high, then smiled and sat down across from him.
“So, how was your day?” he asked while I was looking at the menu.
“Will you look at that?” my brain whispered, “they have the calories listed on here now.”
“Good, just a lot of interesting … conversations” I said and brought my hand to my forehead to rub it.
“About time,” my body said, “New York had that for a while. I need to know what I am eating!”
I successfully ignored that comment.
“Are you okay?” Collin asked.
“Sure she’s okay,” my body said, “she just wants you to be a gentleman and catch her when she pretends to faint.” I kicked myself in the shin and winced.
“Hey, who do you think has to deal with the pain being sent down there?” my brain asked in an offended voice.
“Please excuse me for a second” I said, strained to muster a smile, got up and walked into the restrooms.
“WHAT do you think you’re doing?” I growled.
No answer. I bit my lip.
“Please, please, PLEASE, just be quiet for a little while! I really like this guy and don’t want to make a fool of myself!” I begged.
Still no answer.
“Fine” I said testily, went to wash my hands and walked back out. I could hear my brain and body giggle. This was going to be harder than I thought.
We finally managed to order, and for the next hour or so the two voices remained quiet. I began to relax. This wasn’t going so bad.
“Do you want to go for a stroll?” Collin asked after paying the bill.
“Sure”, I said.
He got up, helped me out of the booth and then lead me out of the restaurant. We walked for a while and came to one of he small lakes that were scattered around the shopping area. Collin sat down and looked at me. I sat next to him and he leaned over to kiss me.
Your kisses lift me higher, like the sweet song of a choir …
I tried to ignore my brain as best as I could.
Oh, oh, oh, I feel my temperature rising, help me, I’m flaming, I must be burning a hundred and nine!
I pulled away from Collin.
“Maybe we should … walk a bit more”, I said.
He looked at me in surprise but agreed. We walked a little more but he turned again to kiss me.
The flames are reaching my body … it’s hard to breathe …
“Oh boy,” I said, winding myself out of Collin’s embrace, “would you look at the time … I gotta get up really early tomorrow” I said and grinned apologetically. “No problem”, Collin said and brushed his hand over my hair. He brought me to my car and kissed me again, then we agreed on meeting in a few days for coffee. I opened the door, sank into the driver’s seat, waved while he was walking towards his own car and finally let out a deep sigh.
“Thanks SO much, guys, you’ve made my night so much better!” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You are welcome, honey, you know we’ll always be there for you”, my brain said graciously.
“I’ve noticed …”, I responded dryly, turned the key and navigated out of the parking lot.
“But, seriously,” I said after a few moments, “Elvis? Really?”
“It seemed appropriate” my brain said and giggled.
“I can’t wait for our next date!” my body said, and for the first time today I had to agree with it.